Humor page

Count how many for which your answer is "yes" (click on email below to let me know your score)

Have you ever...

1. had sex in three or more positions in one session?

2. had sex continuously for 1 hour or more?

3. devoted an entire day to sex and sexual activity (with breaks for eating, etc.)?

4. been so loud having sex that housemates/neighbors commented or complained?

5. had your sexual technique/style/skill openly praised by someone?

6. written an explicitly erotic story?

7. brought your partner to orgasm using only your hands?

8. had sex while both fully dressed (unzip fly, hike up skirt...)?

9. had sex while both standing up?

10. licked or sucked on someone else's feet and/or toes?

11. performed oral sex on a man (felatio)?

12. performed oral sex on a woman (cunniligus)?

13. received oral sex from a man?

14. received oral sex from a woman?

15. used position number 69?

16. intentionally swallowed semen (your own counts)?

17. woken someone up by performing oral sex on them?

18. had heterosexual intercourse using no birth control?

19. had sex during menstruation?

20. used whipped cream, chocolate syrup, etc... for sexual purposes?

21. used ice for sexual purposes?

22. used hot/melted wax for sexual purposes?

23. completely shaved off your pubic hair?

24. purchased a sex toy?

25. inserted your finger into someone's anus, or had this done to you?

26. licked someone's anus?

27. performed anal intercourse on someone (on the giving end, toys count)?

28. received anal intercourse (receiving end, toys still count)?

29. used a vibrator or dildo on your partner, or had your partner use one on you?

30. used another kind of inanimate object for penetration (cucumber, beer bottle, anything)?

31. been involved in use of a cock-ring?

32. been involved in use of a strap-on?

33. participated in fist-fucking?

34. contracted a venereal disease?

35. received money or some favor in exchange for sexual activities?

36. given a sympathy fuck?

37. forced or coerced someone having sex with you?

38. had sex with a virgin?

39. paid for sex with a prostitute?

40. been involved in adultery?

41. committed statutory rape?

42. fondled a pre-pubescent when your were post-pubescent?

43. had sex with someone 10 years older or younger than yourself?

44. had sex with a roommate/housemate/landlord (not a pre-existing relationship)?

45. had sex with your boss or teacher?

46. willingly committed incest (sex with family member, including 1st cousins)?

47. ever had sex with two people from the same family (i.e., siblings, etc - not related through marriage)?

48. had sex with someone the same day you met them?

49. had sex with someone whose name you did not know (at least until afterwards)?

50. had sex with someone who you never spoke with, or who did not know any of the same languages as you?

51. been openly homosexual or bisexual (out of the closet for all to see)?

52. had more than 10 sex partners?

53. ...more than 100?

54. had sex with two partners within 24 hours (but separately)?

55. been in a menage-a-trois?

56. engaged in group sex (more than three people)?

57. visited an orgy parlor or swap club?

58. had two or more regular sex partners at the same time, while all involved were aware of your actions?

59. had two or more regular sex partners at the same time, without telling all of them about the others?

60. had sex in a public place?

61. had sex outdoors at night?

62. had sex outdoors in direct, unshadowed sunlight?

63. had sex in a stationary car?

64. had sex while you or your partner were driving?

65. become a member of the mile high club?

66. had sex in your or your partner's parents' bedroom?

67. had sex in a classroom, office, or other place of work (not a private residence)?

68. had sex in a restroom of a building that was open to the public?

69. had sex in the water (bathtub, hottub, ocean...)?

70. had sex in a stairwell or elevator?

71. had sex in a place of the dead (cemetery, mortuary, coffin, etc.)?

72. used alcohol to lower someone's resistance?

73. had sex while under the influence of illegal drugs?

74. ever taken a drug for the express purposes of enhancing the sexual experience?

75. seen a live professional stripper?

76. committed an act of voyeurism (watched someone who did not know you were there)?

77. committed an act of public exhibitionism (stripping, streaking...)?

78. masturbated in someone else's presence?

79. had sex while you knew someone else was watching?

80. been walked in on while having sex?

81. watched pornographic movie with your sex partner?

82. been the photographer or subject of a nude photo/video shoot?

83. had pictures/video taken of you having sex?

84. watched your usual sex partner have sex with someone else while you were not involved?

85. had a genital or nipple pierce?

86. practiced sexual role-playing (doctor/nurse, student/teacher, etc.)?

87. engaged in transvestitism for sexual enjoyment?

88. engaged in bondage as a "top" (tied someone up)?

89. engaged in bondage as a "bottom" (been tied up)?

90. been blindfolded during sex?

91. intentionally inflicted pain while performing sexual activities (sadism)?

92. willingly had pain inflicted on you during sexual activities (masochism)?

93. had a "safe word" arranged with your partner for use in S&M/B&D activities?

94. used nipple clips (clothespins count)?

95. used a whip, chain, cat-o-nine-tails, or something similar for pain?

96. inflicted or received an electric shock during sexual activities?

97. drawn blood by biting or scratching while performing sexual activities?

98. engaged in "golden showers"?

99. committed bestiality?

100. practiced necrophilia?

That's it. You can use your score to compare relative experience with friends

and partners, but you might not want to tell your mother. To calculate how

morally impure you are, count up your YES answers.